Peer in episode #61 of the De Gebakken Peren Podcast.
Cleaning like a Shaman
Even though the moment has passed, past experiences can still have a hold on you.
Michael Singer (The Untethered Soul) refers to those unfinished energy patterns that you store in your heart, and they block the energy flow.
It can lead you to resist or not fully engage the next time something similar comes along.
Sometimes you're right in resisting it.
Often though, the fact that something went wrong then doesn't mean it will happen again. Everybody deserves a second chance.
And sometimes, the relationship is more subtle. Having the same jacket (or communication style) might remind you of someone you've had a bad experience with, but they're not them.
Just as tricky, experiences bleed over. A traffic scare or a fight with your partner in the morning can keep you on edge all day.
Reading The Untethered Soul has helped me become better in letting go of these holds as they form. But older, more ingrained, ones, those are tricky.
I won't presume to fully know what a shaman is and how they do what they do.
But it seems that they are well-equipped to work with these energy blockages.
Is drama necessary for Change?
You don't keep your hand in the fire. It burns NOW!
When things get painful enough, you'll take action.
This is often true in personal development. You're not ready to change until you hit rock bottom.
And what we've seen is that when there's a time delay before it starts hurting, we have a hard time changing our behavior.
While the climate changes, at this moment, it's mostly still comfortable.
Or, while ecosystems collapse, the change is slow enough that we shift our baseline of what's right.
Activists organize the drama for the pain that's waiting in our shadows.
Making it uncomfortable now for those who need to make a change.
Speeding up a rock bottom moment, that will lead us to act.
And, what ways can we organize to bend the system before it breaks?
Integrity over Perfection
A control mindset wants to check whether criteria are met.
And true, we need results, for example, in reducing our CO2 levels.
But it also leads to quibbling about the exact number and the way of measuring.
And relieves you of responsibility once you can prove you haven't done evil.
Inspector gone. You're done.
Intrinsic motivation is more important.
So as an "inspector," it's most important to sense whether they're acting with integrity in their ambitions.
Belief and trust over proof.
Direction of force over the level reached.
Intention over result.
It doesn't scale, but it does build relationships.
Making an Honest Attempt Is Also an Example
Your actions speak louder than words.
Just as parents can talk a big game about what behavior they expect from their kids, kids do as they see.
So too, do your employees base their beliefs on what you value or expect from them on your actions, not your words.
“You don’t have to work as hard as me.” “I really want you to take care of yourself.”
These words will fall on deaf ears when your actions contradict your words.
Your employees will feel the incongruity and will not truly believe that when push comes to shove, you will value their healthier relationship to work.
However, an honest and explicit attempt to work to change it is also an example.
“Right now, I’m not setting the right example, and this is what I propose we do to change that, for the betterment of all of us.”
Premeditatio Malorum
Another lesson that could be a book: your relationship to money and risk.
Having to answer the door for debt collectors when you’re a kid can leave an indelible imprint on you. And it will influence your later relationship to money and taking risks.
The Stoics had a practice called Premeditatio Malorum. To actively engage in negative visualization to contemplate the bad things that could happen to us.
Sounds pretty bleak. But this way, you can plan to do something about it.
If your relationship with money is stressful, you will have these negative thoughts anyway.
Just like in regular conversation, when someone doesn’t feel heard, these thoughts will keep repeating. And louder.
A first step to have a quieter mind is to give space to let these thoughts finish.
An exercise to work with the fears that come up when contemplating a decision is **Fear Setting**, popularized by Tim Ferriss.
For a decision, list in three columns: 1) what you are afraid of can happen, 2) what you can do to prevent that from happening, 3) what you will do when it has happened.
