Every two weeks I share lessons and tools from my work as a coach, host of mastermind groups and podcast conversations. Today I share some of my thoughts after my conversation with Steven Borghouts.
Building trust
You don’t start with trust that you can lose.
You earn trust, after you’ve experienced that something that went wrong could be fixed.
At work, in relationships, in your ability to problem-solve.
As Steven found out, when you go on bike adventures, it’s not a matter of if something goes wrong, it’s when again.
Loosing directions, flat tires, lost wallets.
Going through these problems enough strengthens your belief in your ability to solve anything that will come your way.
Imagine how you approach building a company when you have accumulated this level of trust.
When loyalty gets in the way
When you start a company together, you want to be able to rely on each other.
To know that neither of you will just walk away at the first sign of trouble.
Because you’re in for quite a journey.
A long journey. With different phases.
Each phase requires a different set of skills from the leadership team.
You will all need to synchronize the way you change as a person and grow as an entrepreneur exactly with the journey of the company.
But, that’s a perfect storm. And the thing with perfection is that it never happens.
And when it doesn’t, loyalty to your co-founders and the company can also mean something different.
To assess honestly, whether the fit between you and what the company needs is still there.
Steven saw what the next phase of Adam required of his role. And, he realized that that was not what he could do, was best at, or what he most wanted to do.
Loyalty meant listening to this and acting on it.
The alternative would be to stay put in the role. Out of loyalty. And, in doing so hinder the growth of the company.
That might’ve seemed loyal, but only in looks. It’s often a situation where nobody wins.
It’s a hard and brave decision.
(NB: Now, sometimes, one simply goes through a difficult period. I’m not saying that you should then be expected to walk away from your position. We should strive to build healthy companies that can offer support to withstand such periods.)
Engage
What impressed me, is that when he passed Daniel - homeless and down on his last legs - Steven stopped and engaged in a conversation.
Nobody does this.
I don’t do this.
I’m not exactly sure why I don’t.
I think part of it is an anxiety that I don’t know how the interaction will go.
Because our worlds are so different. What will happen? Can I contain this to not go over my boundaries?
And probably mostly, a sort of preemptive guild.
That, when you both know I know how hard your life is, I can’t walk away with a straight face. An ostrich would be proud…
But Steven did stop.
Perhaps it’s his experience from all his adventures.
Strike up enough conversations with anyone, and you build the trust you can handle any.
Or, perhaps it’s about not leaving anyone behind.
In conversation, he saw Daniel was simply another human who was having a hard time.
And, he learned that he could help him. That with a few friends, they could help Daniel get back on his feet. The start of Homies Foundation.
